so today I could go on a long and twisted rant about whats going on in my life....the problem is what is going on in my life is a whole lot of nuthin' (malinda still has strep, Owen bit someone, Mya has speech today, dale stayed home sick {feel better soon babe} cancer girl and poop girl didnt come to work today yadda yadda) the main "problem" is that the things going on in my life are really the things going on in 2 other friends lives....
I don't really want to get into what is up with that, or who that all is...cause its really all their business...I can say that its really hard to be friends with two people who are in the middle of a breakup...they never do movies in hollywood about the "buddies" who have to navigate the emotional mindfield of the breakup war. On the one hand, you want to be supportive to both people and not take sides (nearly impossible) or make judgements about behaviors and actions (once again, not within the realm of human possibility) and on the other hand, you do want to take a side, give a unfiltered opinion, and say "yep, you are so so right, screw that guy/girl"---its only human nature you have to want to root for someone or something, i guess...
anyways, the last time i was in a similar situation like this, we lost 5 good friends and gained a godmother for our son...at the end of the day and knowing now what i knew then, it was the best thing ever to pick that side...it turned out the friends we thought were true were false and that the person who was totally marginalized and treated like shit was the gem. It doesnt really relate to the current state of the world, but at least its something to keep in mind.
I think I am (like many people) a firm believer in experience teaching you what you need to know....the goal of your experiences are to recognize patterns in the universe, to know how to react to certain situations, and to not make the same mistakes again and to help others avoid the same pitfalls you fell into..
I guess the main problem I have today (which has been a problem for weeks now) is that because i've BTDT I can see the patterns and predict with alarming and depressing accuracy whats going to happen next. Its odd because on the one hand you can say to someone "oh so you are at THIS step in your process...well lucky you, you have THIS crap to look forward to next" or "i really wouldnt do that, its gonna come back to bite you in the ass" but on the other hand, you totally dont want to say that, because you dont want to impact their decision making by suggesting something that may be a self fullfilling prophescy and inevitable....You can't save people from their decisions...and it doesnt matter if you tell them, that i have been there, I so understand and I can tell you that if you do this, you will hate yourself 2-3-4 years down the road...then you are supressing someone elses learning experience...it just sucks overall because I think most human beings have a natural need to spare their loved ones pain. Its why if we could as parents, we'd wrap out kids up in cotton batting for the 1st 18 years of their lives to protect them from the world....right now there are a few people out there that I wish i could place in deep freeze and move them forward a few years and just bypass the angish and pain and etc...that seems to be coming their ways...
sigh.....anyways, you guys out there (and i know you will eventually read this) be good to yourselves right now...you know I feel greatly for you both.
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