Sunday, August 31, 2008

happy birthday girls

Happy Birthday Girls!
Current mood: awake

so today at 9:23 and 9:30 am (respectively) the girls turned 5 years old. We celebrated by letting me sleep in and going to the Milwaukee Public Museum. A place which has not changed in the past 32 years. really I swear. Same shit, different day. The kids had fun and we held butterflys and watched the "Butterfly Guide Volunteer" chastise the guests to NOT step on any butterflies.....and then watched him step on a Postman Butterfly. (nice job-asshole)

we ate lunchables at the patio for lunch (cheap and easy for me) and stopped at Toys R Us for Birthday present pick out (2 stuffed golden retrievers and a stuffed collie) we are at home and dale is stipping walpaper as we prepare to paint the library. I would like to get my 6 bookshelves out of our temporary library (before its current incarnation it was formally known as, my bathroom) and into here. We are painting one wall the same tannish orange as the big room and 3 walls a nice cream color.

Brewers are winning, cubs losing. suck it cubs, cardinals are losing...suck it cardinals.

tonight its birthday dinner at dennys (free) with the twins and painting.

I may even get a breather to play some diablo tonight (although not likely)

tomorrow: borrowing truck to get couches from inlaws and for the love of Mike, relaxing,
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Sunday, August 17, 2008

20 things porn believes (none of which are true)

20 things porn believes (none of which are true)

1.) Every man's body is hairless
2.) Moving from one sexual position to another is a breeze
3.) Sex can happen two minutes after meeting someone for the first time. Three minutes if either person has something to say
4.) Sex can last for hours and will always feel good
5.) Women MUST talk or groan every moment of intercourse and every sentence must end with the word 'yeah'
6.) Everyone lives in, or knows someone with, a huge mansion
7.) Private detectives are easy to find and all have a large penis
8.) Everyone is bare backing it
9.) Sex at work is easy to pull off
10.) But not as easy as threesomes and orgies
11.) Friendships don't matter when sex is involved. Neither do bloodlines.
12.) Every guy lives in the gym and sleeps in a tanning booth.
13.) Everyone woman has a little lesbian in her..(wait, that might be true)
14.) Anal is normal and never needs to be asked for
15.) Expect greatness when the UPS guy says he has a "package" for you
16.) Most women wear garters. All day. Every day. Even with bathing suits
17.) Aqua Net is still a popular hair care product
18.) Every popular movie must be satired in a porno (i.e.- The Dark Nuts and Edward Penishands)
19.) People are having sex multiple times a day, everyday
20.) That we are interested in a plot
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Saturday, August 09, 2008

Monday, August 04, 2008

you are a huge douche

1. brett favre
2. this guy i know from work...we shall call him sam. this guy owns a HUGE house he just built, two new cars and a home stereo/theatre/game room/entertainment center which he spent roughly 25-30k on, has HUGE student loan and credit card debt and a couple of young kids....but he went on a tear the other day about his wife "not allowing" him to buy another home audio thingy for the house because it was "her turn" and she wanted a full set of riding gear for horseback riding. He said no one should ever let their wife pull rank etc.. rant rant rant.

you fucking tool. you are the #1 reason our econ. is the way it is. the american who builds a 350k house, and has two new cars (with 7 year!! loans) and credit card debt, and student loan debt and who keeps buying more shit he doesnt need and making more debt which he will most likely never repay and has 2 fucking kids who will in turn, learn shitty spending habits from their crappy parents, be saddled with student loans, etc. etc...

some days you just have to fucking hate people

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Saturday, August 02, 2008

I got the girls 5th birthday pictures back. even though i wanted to die (from strep) at the shoot and they were uncooperative, the shots turned out OK

A person I work with gave me state fair tickets, so we are taking the kids today, it is supposed to be HOT HOT HOT but we are going early. we also have to get malinda to the denist (i think she has a cavety) this morning.

i'm feeling blue for my boy down there in hot-lanta. sorry you are losing your woman next week. stay strong brother man....or better yet, come up here for your birthday and we will take you to chuck e cheese.

work has been LONG and boring this week. I am back to my 5 minutes of real work and 7 hrs and 55 minutes of time with nothing to do. if i could only play video games or something while i am there it would be so money.

owen is working at being potty trained. he had two days this week with 0 accidents, that is HUGE for him. i am comitted to no more diapers in 2009. which would be great since he will be 4 this year.

stuff i am watching this week:

be kind rewind-very boring movie except the part where they recreate ghostbusters (they call this "sweeding" the movie, you would really have to watch to understand) i rewatched that 4 times i laughed so hard/

six feet under season 4-ah so good.


and eternity by piers anthony, the last incarnation of immortality book. im sad.


a son of the circus by john irving & starting over with piers in audiobooks with death rides a pale horse (which is what dead like me is based on)

also listening to katy perry, the perishers, the weepies & some sonic youth.

kudos to me: for cleaning my bathroom this morning and mowing the lawn yesterday.

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