Thursday, May 31, 2007


so today I am sitting at work, minding my own business working my ass off on a project, and "watching" (which means im listening to the music since its a musical) covergirl on my ipod...our fat ass, ugly ass, dumb ass, snotty ass, i-am-so-importante-because-i-order-the-staples receptionist brings her stinky ass self over into my personal space, sticks her slimy ass head over my shoulder, looks at my ipod makes some dismissive snort and walks away....i'm all like "what the fuck?"

about 5-10 min later I walk over to my boss to ask him something about the project I am working on and he answers my question and he says look at this:
its an email from fatassbitches boss to kurt, the senior partners of the firm and the executive director of the firm saying "mary is watching her ipod at her desk and unless she is on break that is a very bad example to be setting for other employees."

well my boss & I go ballistic (he does ask me do i watch my ipod...the answer is yes i listen to it/watch it while im working its called multifuckingtasking) and he fires back to all involved (bCC me)
"maybe if your employees would spend a little more time working on all the diary codes and things that are so far behind and a little less worrying about mary who is always at her desk and always gets her work done, things would be much better around here."

and then he tells me "you may want to lay off the video part for a few days.."

ok whatever

i hate the receptionist, she is now officially a bus person (meaning if a bus hit her head on and she died i would say "wow, i hope the bus is ok.")

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

el purple nerple

I really hate the small of lilacs. We had a big lilac bush at the house where i grew up, my parents have this wierd chineese lilac bush at their place,I can't stand the smell of that either..and the girls have a huge one outside their window. To me, lilacs always smell like they are one step away from rotting if they arent already. Lilacs just smell like death. My mom had a vase of them in her kitchen over the weekend and I couldnt stand to be in the same room with them.. I have no idea where this aversion comes from, I never had a particularly bad experience with them or anything I just can not stand certain times during the spring I can't open the bedroom window because I dont want the house to smell like idea why i decided to tell you about my lilac may be that i remembered having a flower discussion with a teacher 15 years ago...i think it came up that wouldnt it be nice if someone just sent you a dozen roses for no reason and that i hate red roses and much prefer white ones......she said that she always wanted some secret admirer to send her a dozen white tulips as those were her favorite flower...I think i dreamt about that last night and had one of those afternoon specials endings where i secretly sent her a dozen white tulips and she was all happy that someone cared....wait, i think that was a simpson's episode.....

today I watched Good Will Hunting for the 1st time..I didnt realize that so many Elliott Smith songs that I really like make up the soundtrack....It actually is a great film...I guess I never had much interest before...Also queued up to watch this week at work: Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremecy, Cover Girl, Ella Enchanted, Devil Wears Prada, farce of the Penguins, Finding Neverland, Half Nelson & Twin peaks season 2

i heard something so incredibly insensitive today i almost stopped and looked at the person saying it in disbelief...i took the girls to the dr (malinda ear infection + rash) and as we walked in there was this OLD (like 80s...90s?) lady sitting in her wheelchair and a nurse was standing next to her and talking, all i heard her say was "well it hurts in my know like when you are running and your side hurts?" she paused like waiting for her patient to agree with her...i couldnt believe it...HELLO! LADY IN THE WHEELCHAIR, HALF DEAD, CANT WALK? unreal....i wonder if this is what they tach you in med school...will have to email andrea and god. nice heh?

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Monday, May 28, 2007


So we went to Pirates this afternoon, had to wait in line to get a seat (a feat which has not been seen since LOTR a few years back. It was well worth the 7.00, but not worth the totally geeky family next to us in overweight and loud telling same lame joke about how if he had his "sword" he could clear the line and he would rather have that sword because his gun only has one shot heh overweight weraing pirates of the carribean shorts (which I think she made herself) and which were riding up her thighs (which was no treat as they may mirror my own, i dunnno) and son. oh the poor abused son. maybe 10-11? glasses who brought not one, not two but 10 plastic POTC action figures and kept telling who ever would look that "this is the special advanced preview elizabeth swann in her singapore outfit" and role playing the movie with the figures on the floor. He also had his POTC pocketwatch (which looks like Captn Jack's compass) and kept informing us every 3-4 minutes that it was "15 minutes till yo ho ho time." as we walked in the family was going to sit right next to us and i informed dale i just would not be able to handle 3 and a half hours of the family LARP. We moved back one row...the geekdad then went in and out of the theatre past the huge row of people saying "watch out, incredibly thin guy coming through" (i shit you not I could not make this up) and then once again going through the sword/gun bit...OWmom then said to kid "don't worry honey, everyone knows thats your daddy!" Dale asked me how much that kid gets the crap kicked out of him at school guess was at least 5 but no less than 3.

on the one hand, its great that they prove that there is someone out there for everyone and that everyone can breed and create more kids who will grow up to be megageeks (or as they call um on SNL "geeky spaz"), and on the other hand, I hope that I never ever pass on my dorky geek gene to the kids or if I do (since its probable as Mya is obsessed with spiderman) they learn to keep their inner geek hidden until you are in your parents basement roleplaying....

the movie itself was good, i enjoyed it, i think the sequel (if they make it) would be great and i think they need to have more naked chest orlando bloom.

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

i dont care how hungry i get im not eatting maggots

watching survior man and also man vs. wild as a marathon on TV today...i dont care if i am starving, im not eating maggots from a dead fox killed by an avalanche in the french alps. im just not going to do it and you cant make me.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

mildly irratated with a side of coleslaw

so today cancer girl sick again, its sad when your boss is echoing your inward thoughts outwardly about that absence. Whatever, I can't keep beating that dead horse.

Today watched The 40 Year Old Virgin, a movie that gets better and funnier with each viewing, also rewatched Chicago and had to restrain myself from singing along...I made due with dance steps under my desk since I have my 1920s type heels on and my lavalier. Funny cowinkydink.

I converted Music & Lyrics, The Illusionist, and Farce of the Penguins last night. I also need to find out where Dale hid the last epi of I do not have it for some reason....

Tonight we are taking the kids to the Zoo to pet the stingrays and leopard sharks and see the Koala's...The Koala's are quite possibly the most boring animals at the zoo. They eat their leaves and sleep. Wow. I'd rather watch the Chineese Alligators which just sit in the same part of their pool and do not move. I shouldnt complain so much, its a beautiful day outside and walking around with the kids will be wonderul and we are having salads for dinner outside in the fresh air....

Thankfully I have a 4 day weekend, we have no clue what we plan on doing, maybe going into Madison and walking around State Street or at the Union with the kids.....It really depends on how nice the weather's been so long since we had a nice summer afternoon in Madison...

Next Sunday my mom has our free tickets to Noah's Ark so we are taking everyone for a day at the waterpark, lets hope it doesnt rain!

Hope you feel better soon ryan...

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Not impressed

Monday, May 21, 2007


he fun of disconnection

today at work i found myself with nothing remotly important to do and so i had to somehow come up with something to fill up 8 hours of work. I found a project which allowed me to use a thumbnail amount of my brain on said project and use up the other parts of my brain on more worthwhile adventures. Mostly this was me listening to an audiobook, watching 4 hours of Dead Like Me (2 hours of which made me cry at my desk, but no one pays any attention to me at work so no big deal) and making mental lists of "crap you need to do." CRAP I NEED TO DO:

1. clean house for visit from Ryan, this includes, cleaning bathrooms, dusting, floors, removing garbages from rooms, vacuuming, finding sleeping bag for Ryan and generally getting rid of toddler smells and spills.

2: put all books that have been read into book log and then find space on shelf to put books away. This may mean buying yet another bookshelf and having to somehow hide the fact that i have bought more books from my mate.

3. mow lawn...which shortly after was placed on list was removed from list as husband informed me he will be mowing lawn for exercise. Bummer as mowing lawn is a good 2 hours of non thought music listening to time that I really like...last time dale mowed lawn he weed wacked my Chive plant. I now have no fresh chives. This is unacceptable.

4. convince husband to hang up large mountain of clothes on chair. This will be the 500th time I have asked for pile to move itself from chair into closet and the 500th time husband has hoped the magical housecleaning fey will come out from their hills and clean the house. This has never yet happened, as everyone knows, the fey do not do housework.

5. clean garage. i do not want to clean the garage, i am simply putting on list to show my willingness to accept that i have a dirty garage and the hope that the magical garage cleaning fey will do it for me. the fey also do not clean nor do they have garages so this is a wishful thinking todo.

6. repaint nails, they are chipped and not pretty. its a small thing, but it would make me inwardly happy.

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Monday, May 14, 2007

mothers day

mothers day

I dont really understand the point of Mothers Day or Fathers Day. Someone asked me today if I had a nice mothers day...honestly it was the same as any other Sunday. I didnt get any special treatment, Dale did spend 13.00 on roses...which was nice and everything but I would have been the same regardless of if I had received them or not...(mostly it was an annoyance since the kids threw a hissy fit wanting to "help" me put them in the water.....) I sent cards to my in laws and my mom, my mom brought over make up for me (nice, but not necessary) seems pretty silly to have a day to recognize your parents...I try to treat my parents nice every day...and I am sure (or I hope) that they know I appreciate them daily for all the help they give me...I dunno...maybe as I get older I find that those Hallmark Holidays are a drag vs something sweetest day? what the fuck is sweetest day? why does dale need to get me something in October for sweetest day? I dont think I have ever wanted something for that that a less threatening valentines day for unmarried couples? what? I guess I can understand adminstrative professionals (secretary) day because god knows if you dont take your underpaid, bitchy, lord-it-over-the-whole-office-that-you-order-the-postits phone answerer girl out to applebeas that day you will get even worse attitude the rest of the year......but Bosses day? Fuck my boss, I have to appreciate my boss? When is "kiss you employees ass" day? mid november?

maybe this all comes from a growing discontentment I have with my job...I think that it can be established as a given that no matter what you do at your job or who you are, from the lowly mailroom peon to the CFO, you spend some part of your work day fucking around on the job. Fucking around being doing something not work related on company time. What really pisses me off are the blatent fuck around-ers. I think you can fuck around at work and no one notices, like if you are spending 10 min an hour reading the news on or if you bought something online at or you called your mom and talked to her on company time...Chances are no one would notice that cause you are at your desk. The fuck-around-ers that piss me off are the people who are so obvious about their fucking aroundage. Like my coworker we shall call the kangaroo. so called because she is incapable of sitting at her desk and working for more than 10 minutes before she jumps up to fuck around...she bops in whenever she wants, sits, turns on computer, hops up, gets coffee and does her 1st rounds around the office for a 30-45 min period to check in with her peeps..sits down, works 10 minutes, hops up, talks to receptionist for 30min...sits back down, works for 10 min, hops up, takes an hour or hour and half (paid) lunch, comes back...sits down, gets afternoon coffee (30-40 min process) works 10 min, hops up, does her afternoon walks-around and works another 10 min and then leaves early for the day. It is impossible NOT to notice that she has accomplished NOTHING all day since she is never at her fucking desk.

Me? I get into work, run a report and surf the net while its running...i call my mom while im workingi email back and forth with people outside of work about non work related things, i make doctors appts...but all the while Im doing whatever it is I should be doing...Do i feel like I am the pot calling the kettle black? No, because I can say i sat at my desk and did something 8 and a half hours today, regardless of me fucking around for maybe 30 min (i didnt take my paid 30 min lunch today or any day mind you) during my least if someone had to compare what I accomplished vs the kangaroo it would be obvious who is working.

whatever...i guess it boggles my mind daily how some people are just teflon around here

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

a trademark on nature?

rademarking nature?

A special offer today only.
$10 off Vera Wang™ flowers for Mother's Day

Now I came across this on the front page of Yahoo when i was wasting time reading the news.

How the hell do you TRADEMARK a flower? I mean, those look like your standard pink roses and some the hell does Vera Wang Trademark a flower? Do I have to ask permission to use pink roses from now on? Do I have to pay a royalty or licensing fee if i have pink roses in the house? Is this the equivelent to Ralph Lauren winning a lawsuit against "Polo" Magazine (a magazine dedicated to POLO the sport) for copyright infringement. I think I shall trademark and copyright "football" "soccer" and "baseball" and require all persons wishing to use those words to pay me 1 million dollars.

Has the world gone mad?

Is the sky blue?

Will Ryan have a good day off tomorrow which shall be ruined in due course by someone before midnight on wed?

answer to all questions is yes....

dear god.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

happy tues

so as i may have mentioned our Time Warner (sucks gigantic cock) internet is down....They made me drive all the way to mayfair last night, wait in line 25 min to get a new modem, which did nothing....then last night i sat on hold for an hour waiting to make an appt to have someone come out and look at it and no one picked up...during heroes BTW so basically I missed most of it with crappy TW music in my ear....Then they cant come till saturday (fine) but will credit me for a weeks downtime (ok great), at least the chick this morning said "well we can get a signal but its really faint" and was actually apologetic and helpful. That does go a long way in placating me...the last 2 girls were bored and irritable...

Poor Mo Tom...he was supposed to go to Toronto this weekend for his birthday...he has been waiting since Feb for his passport and it hasnt come in. The passport office keeps jiving him "oh yes, we are expediting that....umm well there is a problem....blah blah blah" so he had to cancel his plans and he is going to Denver instead...I miss being single..

In other travel news, Ryan's Ashley is now guilting me via email (kiddin!) into coming down to ATL to put Ryan in his place (not as cool as me) but it would be really hard to leave the kids and Dale (well not HARD, but you know what I mean) for a vacation for a weekend since I have no coin of the realm (ie something dale really wants) to barter with in trade...I have decided that on a whole I feel really Bad that since I have kids I just expect (?) my friends to come visit me since its nigh to impossible to visit them.....I mean, I havent seen Bryce in almost 4 years and the only reason I saw him in Feb was his wedding....I havent seen Dylan and Dan in 2-4 years (although I think I did see Dan when he was up here for Matts wedding and Dylan for his 10 thats what? 2yrs?) like I can get down to Texas....we havent gone to KY to see the Reynolds (but then again, they dont appear to be speaking to us anymore so should I find guilt in that?)...havent been down to ATL to see Ryan (which sucks because that would be what, the cost of the flight? taking a Detla from MKE to ATL would prob. cost 2.00....) but Andrea (now also not speaking to me) has been here three times and Ryan once (sadly we got what 30 min? to eat lunch together...)...Laura is coming back from Africa in June and will be driving from Texas to the midwest in July, once again, I cant see her unless she road trips (but I honestly dont think she minds, that travel bug of hers!)...and Renee lives like 4 hours away in IL and I can't manage to get down to her (which is disgraceful...seriously)...the only road trip we have planned this year is Door County mid August and Wisconsin Dells sometime this summer...maybe madison once or twice? I guess hearing tom talk about his trips (florida, kentucky, denver, florida etc..) plus my boss (florida for a week) plus my parents (virginia/DC last month, Hawaii this fall...austrailia next spring!) that they are all taking this year is making me feel I have 2 extra days of vacation and all I can think I will use them for is doctors appointments and if the kids get sick, wow. Maybe the DC/Superbowl trip was my price to pay for doing nothing else this would be nice if the kids were a bit older so we could really do things/go places. oh well...i guess its life item #9827632 that you give up for yourself once you have kids.

So without internet at home this week dale and I have established that we think the nights are longer without being able to check emails, read the news etc....although it did work for a total of 3 minutes last night...I cant even import to my ipod cause it needs the internet to know what CD's I am importing...I am an addict and I choose not to get help.

May is also a terrific month for books....I went shopping Saturday (book Vol 2 of Tanya Huff's "Blood" series...a Janet Evanovich book and a card magazine...then today I got the new Charlaine Harris...Next week, new Kelley Anderson, I THINK a new Weis and Hickman, and 2 new anthologies (from my favorite authors)...arg...I can barely keep up (which is a lie. i keep up just fine).

The injections I have to give myself are hurting my belly (cause you have to give them in some sub-q tissue and my deflated post pregnancy belly fits the bill...I can't imagine how sore i'll be after 7 days of this stuff....also when i went to the pharmacy I gave them my new work insurance card (touted by the firm as "wonderful" insurance, and told how much it means to them that we use it to stay healthy, yadda yadda....) well under dale's insurance my 7 days worth of injections cost 30.00, if i would have used my work insurance...$887.30) i am trying to do the math in my head but I can not seem to figure out how 887.30 is better than 30.00? if you can please let me know.

anyways, i should prob. get back to work at some point here (even though I have no desire to do so).bye

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borat? a bit boring

So today I watched Borat at work. I have to say I dont really see what the big deal is about the movie? I mean, some parts were funny (the rodeo) but other parts were unbeliveable..I couldnt believe there were people that stupid that didnt think something odd was going on...I watched the "Extras" that didnt make it in the film....not really that funny either...oh well...

In Police Blotter news: Ryan informed me a certain madman was arrested today at work for threatening to kill another coworker...Its like Melrose Place at BAC...instead of their being one gay guy amonst all the straights, Ryan is the straight guy amongst all the gays. Its unreal what goes on at his job...Why can't my work be as interesting as his? Good luck to Gamma as she has her exams this week....I believe that means Ryan will be not busy this week....

Also kudos go out to Dale...The company that bought his former company had him up in Neenah for a day on Friday and basically sent back an email to the current company that they wanted to hire him outright...Its good to be wanted.

I start my Lovenox today and for 3 days I have to give myself shots 2x a day..(not fun) then on Thursday I go get my biopsy (more not fun) and then have to go get bloodwork that morning, then come in way way late to work (not fun X2)...bah, if my boss wasnt on vacation I would just take the whole day off.
This week we have our presale rummage in my mother in laws subdivision...This is the mother of all rummages as its like 30 families, they are all rich, and they sell their stuff very very cheeply. should be good.