One Donkey out of Many

20 things porn believes (none of which are true)

1.) Every man's body is hairless
2.) Moving from one sexual position to another is a breeze
3.) Sex can happen two minutes after meeting someone for the first time. Three minutes if either person has something to say
4.) Sex can last for hours and will always feel good
5.) Women MUST talk or groan every moment of intercourse and every sentence must end with the word 'yeah'
6.) Everyone lives in, or knows someone with, a huge mansion
7.) Private detectives are easy to find and all have a large penis
8.) Everyone is bare backing it
9.) Sex at work is easy to pull off
10.) But not as easy as threesomes and orgies
11.) Friendships don't matter when sex is involved. Neither do bloodlines.
12.) Every guy lives in the gym and sleeps in a tanning booth.
13.) Everyone woman has a little lesbian in her..(wait, that might be true)
14.) Anal is normal and never needs to be asked for
15.) Expect greatness when the UPS guy says he has a "package" for you
16.) Most women wear garters. All day. Every day. Even with bathing suits
17.) Aqua Net is still a popular hair care product
18.) Every popular movie must be satired in a porno (i.e.- The Dark Nuts and Edward Penishands)
19.) People are having sex multiple times a day, everyday
20.) That we are interested in a plot
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Too much birthday cake

1. brett favre
2. this guy i know from work...we shall call him sam. this guy owns a HUGE house he just built, two new cars and a home stereo/theatre/game room/entertainment center which he spent roughly 25-30k on, has HUGE student loan and credit card debt and a couple of young kids....but he went on a tear the other day about his wife "not allowing" him to buy another home audio thingy for the house because it was "her turn" and she wanted a full set of riding gear for horseback riding. He said no one should ever let their wife pull rank etc.. rant rant rant.

you fucking tool. you are the #1 reason our econ. is the way it is. the american who builds a 350k house, and has two new cars (with 7 year!! loans) and credit card debt, and student loan debt and who keeps buying more shit he doesnt need and making more debt which he will most likely never repay and has 2 fucking kids who will in turn, learn shitty spending habits from their crappy parents, be saddled with student loans, etc. etc...

some days you just have to fucking hate people

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I got the girls 5th birthday pictures back. even though i wanted to die (from strep) at the shoot and they were uncooperative, the shots turned out OK

A person I work with gave me state fair tickets, so we are taking the kids today, it is supposed to be HOT HOT HOT but we are going early. we also have to get malinda to the denist (i think she has a cavety) this morning.

i'm feeling blue for my boy down there in hot-lanta. sorry you are losing your woman next week. stay strong brother man....or better yet, come up here for your birthday and we will take you to chuck e cheese.

work has been LONG and boring this week. I am back to my 5 minutes of real work and 7 hrs and 55 minutes of time with nothing to do. if i could only play video games or something while i am there it would be so money.

owen is working at being potty trained. he had two days this week with 0 accidents, that is HUGE for him. i am comitted to no more diapers in 2009. which would be great since he will be 4 this year.

stuff i am watching this week:

be kind rewind-very boring movie except the part where they recreate ghostbusters (they call this "sweeding" the movie, you would really have to watch to understand) i rewatched that 4 times i laughed so hard/

six feet under season 4-ah so good.

reading:

and eternity by piers anthony, the last incarnation of immortality book. im sad.

listening:

a son of the circus by john irving & starting over with piers in audiobooks with death rides a pale horse (which is what dead like me is based on)

also listening to katy perry, the perishers, the weepies & some sonic youth.

kudos to me: for cleaning my bathroom this morning and mowing the lawn yesterday.

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hi, my name is charlie bartlett charlie bartlett is a fantastic movie....its like ferris bueller's day off except what if ferris went to school and helped everyone by prescribing prescription drugs?

seriously, go rent it.....i liked it almost as much as I liked juno...yet in a differemt way....conserv8 I think you and boo would really enjoy it....

i may just buy it to watch again
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Giant moth on our door

its a bad day when... you get up, get dressed, go work, work all day, pick up the kids, come home..and around 5 o clock you grab your ipod to make dinner and naturally when i have no pockets i put my ipod the only place a nice girl like me CAN put their ipod, in their bra cup.....only i realize i havent been wearing a bra all day. ALL DAY.

1 this is some sort of impressive feat as im a 38D and generally you would notice me boppin around, or i would. I happened to be wearing a shirt with a cami under and that is tight around the bodice so i gueesi didnt notice.....

sad.

and here i have shared with you all.

here is an exerpt from the "monkey prostitue" article in the NY times. go monkey's get your monkey 'ho on.

It is sometimes unclear, even to Chen himself, exactly what he is working on. When he and Santos, his psychologist collaborator, began to teach the Yale capuchins to use money, he had no pressing research theme. The essential idea was to give a monkey a dollar and see what it did with it. The currency Chen settled on was a silver disc, one inch in diameter, with a hole in the middle -- ''kind of like Chinese money,'' he says. It took several months of rudimentary repetition to teach the monkeys that these tokens were valuable as a means of exchange for a treat and would be similarly valuable the next day. Having gained that understanding, a capuchin would then be presented with 12 tokens on a tray and have to decide how many to surrender for, say, Jell-O cubes versus grapes. This first step allowed each capuchin to reveal its preferences and to grasp the concept of budgeting.

Then Chen introduced price shocks and wealth shocks. If, for instance, the price of Jell-O fell (two cubes instead of one per token), would the capuchin buy more Jell-O and fewer grapes? The capuchins responded rationally to tests like this -- that is, they responded the way most readers of The Times would respond. In economist-speak, the capuchins adhered to the rules of utility maximization and price theory: when the price of something falls, people tend to buy more of it.

Chen next introduced a pair of gambling games and set out to determine which one the monkeys preferred. In the first game, the capuchin was given one grape and, dependent on a coin flip, either retained the original grape or won a bonus grape. In the second game, the capuchin started out owning the bonus grape and, once again dependent on a coin flip, either kept the two grapes or lost one. These two games are in fact the same gamble, with identical odds, but one is framed as a potential win and the other as a potential loss.

How did the capuchins react? They far preferred to take a gamble on the potential gain than the potential loss. This is not what an economics textbook would predict. The laws of economics state that these two gambles, because they represent such small stakes, should be treated equally.

So, does Chen's gambling experiment simply reveal the cognitive limitations of his small-brained subjects? Perhaps not. In similar experiments, it turns out that humans tend to make the same type of irrational decision at a nearly identical rate. Documenting this phenomenon, known as loss aversion, is what helped the psychologist Daniel Kahneman win a Nobel Prize in economics. The data generated by the capuchin monkeys, Chen says, ''make them statistically indistinguishable from most stock-market investors.''

ut do the capuchins actually understand money? Or is Chen simply exploiting their endless appetites to make them perform neat tricks?

Several facts suggest the former. During a recent capuchin experiment that used cucumbers as treats, a research assistant happened to slice the cucumber into discs instead of cubes, as was typical. One capuchin picked up a slice, started to eat it and then ran over to a researcher to see if he could ''buy'' something sweeter with it. To the capuchin, a round slice of cucumber bore enough resemblance to Chen's silver tokens to seem like another piece of currency.

Then there is the stealing. Santos has observed that the monkeys never deliberately save any money, but they do sometimes purloin a token or two during an experiment. All seven monkeys live in a communal main chamber of about 750 cubic feet. For experiments, one capuchin at a time is let into a smaller testing chamber next door. Once, a capuchin in the testing chamber picked up an entire tray of tokens, flung them into the main chamber and then scurried in after them -- a combination jailbreak and bank heist -- which led to a chaotic scene in which the human researchers had to rush into the main chamber and offer food bribes for the tokens, a reinforcement that in effect encouraged more stealing.

Something else happened during that chaotic scene, something that convinced Chen of the monkeys' true grasp of money. Perhaps the most distinguishing characteristic of money, after all, is its fungibility, the fact that it can be used to buy not just food but anything. During the chaos in the monkey cage, Chen saw something out of the corner of his eye that he would later try to play down but in his heart of hearts he knew to be true. What he witnessed was probably the first observed exchange of money for sex in the history of monkeykind. (Further proof that the monkeys truly understood money: the monkey who was paid for sex immediately traded the token in for a grape.)

This is a sensitive subject. The capuchin lab at Yale has been built and maintained to make the monkeys as comfortable as possible, and especially to allow them to carry on in a natural state. The introduction of money was tricky enough; it wouldn't reflect well on anyone involved if the money turned the lab into a brothel. To this end, Chen has taken steps to ensure that future monkey sex at Yale occurs as nature intended it.

But these facts remain: When taught to use money, a group of capuchin monkeys responded quite rationally to simple incentives; responded irrationally to risky gambles; failed to save; stole when they could; used money for food and, on occasion, sex. In other words, they behaved a good bit like the creature that most of Chen's more traditional colleagues study: Homo sapiens.

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