Sunday, August 17, 2008

20 things porn believes (none of which are true)

20 things porn believes (none of which are true)

1.) Every man's body is hairless
2.) Moving from one sexual position to another is a breeze
3.) Sex can happen two minutes after meeting someone for the first time. Three minutes if either person has something to say
4.) Sex can last for hours and will always feel good
5.) Women MUST talk or groan every moment of intercourse and every sentence must end with the word 'yeah'
6.) Everyone lives in, or knows someone with, a huge mansion
7.) Private detectives are easy to find and all have a large penis
8.) Everyone is bare backing it
9.) Sex at work is easy to pull off
10.) But not as easy as threesomes and orgies
11.) Friendships don't matter when sex is involved. Neither do bloodlines.
12.) Every guy lives in the gym and sleeps in a tanning booth.
13.) Everyone woman has a little lesbian in her..(wait, that might be true)
14.) Anal is normal and never needs to be asked for
15.) Expect greatness when the UPS guy says he has a "package" for you
16.) Most women wear garters. All day. Every day. Even with bathing suits
17.) Aqua Net is still a popular hair care product
18.) Every popular movie must be satired in a porno (i.e.- The Dark Nuts and Edward Penishands)
19.) People are having sex multiple times a day, everyday
20.) That we are interested in a plot
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