BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! FOR SALE: 2 GIRLS, AGE 3 1/2, BLOND AND BRUNETTE.
YOU GET: 2 3 1/2 YEAR OLDS WHO DONT WANT TO GO TO BED...THE JOYS OF CLEANING UP AN ENTIRE POTTED PLANT + DIRT FOR 60 MINUTES....NOT JUST ANY DIRT, MOIST DIRT...DIRT WILL BE ALL OVER ENTIRE ROOM, ALL OVER ENTIRE BED(S), ALL OVER ENTIRE WALLS, CABINETS, DRESSERS, CHILDREN, BEDDING AND MOST ESPECIALLY, THE OFF WHITE CARPETING.
YOU WILL GET THE JOY OF CALLING YOUR MOTHER AT 7:30 AT NIGHT TO BRING OVER DIRT DEVILS, VACUUM HOSES, RAGS & LABOR TO CLEAN UP SAID MESS.
YOU WILL GET TWO CHILDREN WHO ARE CRYING BECAUSE MOMMY TOOK AWAY ALL EXTRA BLANKETS, PILLOWS, STUFFED ANIMALS & THE PRIVLEDGE OF GOING TO THE ZOO WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA TOMORROW....
WHICH WONT BE A BIG DEAL BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO BUY MY KIDS.
*NOT FOR SALE* THE 2 YEAR OLD ASLEEP IN HIS BED AS THE ENTIRE EVENT WENT DOWN. HE IS A FUCKING ANGEL.
*ALSO NOT FOR SALE* THE LARGE VODKA CRANBERRY MOMMY IS HAVING TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF.
*COST FOR SAID CHILDREN:* ONE WOODEN NICKEL (AND YOU WILL BE OVERPAYING)
I ACTUALLY CHOSE TO PROCREATE, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?
Mail me!
