Tuesday, July 03, 2007

my back hurts

Happy 4th....I am in an interesting amount of pain....my cough has decided to manifest its way to the bottom veribrae on my spine. Now when I cough my lower back hurts. Normally I'd just accept this as normal since I always seem to cough myself into abandon when I get sick..The not normal part is that the last time I had a blood clot (the one that almost killed the girl) the pain pretty much started where it hurts now.....and my PT score after my blood work last week was a little wacky so I'm trying not to be paranoid and think "crap, now I have another clot being thrown!" but then again the problem the last time is I didnt take my "little backache" seriously and ended up in the ICU for a week. Nick assured me I am just getting old. Thanks Nick. Walking is a new experience in pain...of course this has to happen before a holiday. crud.

So you know you are an alcoholic if you plan your work day and your vacation time around the drunk you need to get on the day before. Its very sad that someone I work with is a functioning alcoholic, instead of realizing that "hey i am going to go out and have a good time on X night, maybe have a few drinks etc...and come in to work tomorrow" they pretty much operate under a "i am going to get wasted, not come in to work/take a vacation day on a Tuesday because I have to get wasted to celebrate Canada Day (or whatever)" This person knows she has a problem, but won't admit to the problem b/c then she would actually have to get help. Sad. I guess friends hers outside of work tried to do an intervention but it was a disaster. Its also sad that the work environment she is in pretty much supports her alcoholism....I don't buy the alcoholism is a disease B/S that gets fed to me. Cancer is a disease, AIDS is a disease..drinking is your choice and drinking to excess even when you "cant" stop, also your choice that was predicated by the choices to made to start drinking like a fish anyways.... I don't think AA is the only answer (thats part of what she is afraid of I guess), but at least its a start and is better than leaving your kid home alone so you can get blasted on a tuesday night, drinking yourself into illness, drinking while you are going through Chemo and Radiation...and even better, going to your oncologists office drunk to ask can you wait a week for your radiation to start so you can "drink and party over the 4th." Thats fucking weak and sad......especially when your oncologist says "man you must have been drinking last night because I can smell it on your skin." um no, that would be, i just woke up because i was so drunk and hungover i had to have a drink to be able to drive here to see you, you are smelling the beer I have in my system now. stupid and lame....slowing getting close to being a bus person.

Mail me!