Could I be more depressed, yet happy?

So I believe I have chronicaled here my adventures with myspace and me connecting online with someone I went to high school with 12 years ago who admitted he had a crush on me back in the day. That made me feel awesome for about a week. Its always nice to know that someone found you pretty and a good ego boost no matter how you look at it. Now, that same thing that made me happy and boosted for a week has turned the corner into a real bummer. Now as I type this I can almost hear someone saying in their head the same thing they say when they hear that Britney Spears says she drinks, parties, and shows her mommy hole to us all, because she is sooooo sad. "Oh boo-fucking hoo poor you and your crappy problems." And I do realize that this "I am so pretty everyone loves me" problem is really stupid and you have complete freedom to kick me next time you see me...anyways..

I have turned the corner from feeling very happy and blushy, to being sad....I'm not sad because I bemoan my lost youth or anything, I have no desire to go redo high school and correct mistakes ala Peggy Sue Got Married (because if Hollywood has taught us nothing its that, that never works anyways, you always end up where you were anyways)..but this week yet another guy I went to high school with mentioned something to the effect that "I know you are married now but I would have followed you anywhere." Well Damn.

Now this person (vs the 1st person) dated my (then) best friend for a time, and I never was the girl to mack on her friends' men after the fact, so never really considered him in "that way"..but damn. The depressing part of this is that I feel like the worlds biggest fucking moron ever because during this time period in high school I was beyond wrapped up in my (then) boyfriend (not Dale) for pretty much the entirety of my 3 years in high school (and some of freaking middle school) and I coulda so hit the town with either of these guys and been OK with that decision. I (much like someone else around here) coulda been the #1 lovegirl in my particular postal district. I feel like Janenne Garafolio in Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, "THAT'S Sandy Frink? What the fuck was I thinking?" ( I was hung up like a picture on THAT guy? What the fuck was I thinking?) It's only depressing in the way that you start thinking "what the hell else did I miss out on?" Once you start thinking like that, you are totally sunk

The positive part of my whole unhealthy union with THAT guy was that as a direct result of my major league temper tantrum circa 1994, I started dating Dale and have pretty much been with him since that point. Shows that from all shit piles, a diamond can be found I suppose.

Now I am wondering with each new "I totally remember going to high school with that guy, lets send a friend request" am I gonna get some form of this letter back (aww too bad you were so hung up on whatshisdickface, i worshiped your size 9 feet and now I own a mansion and a yacht) from people?

Either way its been fun to catch up with people I havent seen or thought about in years and check in how howzit going. If you believe the media Myspace is nothing but pederasts and underage girls bitching about other underage girls. For me, its my own personal "if you were in 11th grade right now you'd be hittin' it up style" site. I think I should get dale to get a page so he can find out how many girls LOOOOOVED him when he was in high school? That would totally be interesting.
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