Thanks to crimsonrage for this lovely poem about the worst director (and ex husband of geena davis) ever:

Renny Harlin Oh my gawd Oh my darlin' What a clod! His awful turds Will get a reaction What Hussein did to Kurds He does to action His apparent stupidity It has no equal He stripped the validity Of the first Die Hard sequel Instead of action scenes That were tough and had a brain We get fakey blue screens Of John flying out of a plane It's all so frickin lame Our hopes Harlin shatters The cast looks so ashamed Even Carl from Family Matters But lo! That wasn't it We weren't left alone For Harlin made more sh!t This time with Sly Stallone. The movie's called Cliffhanger It co-starred Michael Rooker It's like a herpes-laden wanger After screwing a she-male hooker The many special effects Are supposed to be a WOW! But you'll only reflect About the chin on John Lithgow Next came Cutthroat Island A movie I did not see For I'd rather go to Thailand And have a guy chop off my wee. It was a huge bomb The public got it right But when you thought he was gone Came The Long Kiss Goodnight. Does anyone else here think That it was a monumental crime That despite its awful stink This was the best selling script of all time? What did Shane Black write That made people so giddy "She's says a joke and they fight Man I'm so damn witty!" And if you thought "Hark! Renny couldn't be more gay!" See his film with the shark That starred LL COOl J. It's like a turd-topped waffle With a side of toilet scum The shark effects were awful Worse than that ad for Trident gum Harlin is the pits He'll never be forgiven For turning out more sh!t This time called Driven He's made so much dung He's such a f-cking dope That he should be hung From his long hair, instead of rope.

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