Monday, February 04, 2008

florida sucks

im just not willing to live with cockroaches as a daily event

had a discussion with a client today about moving to and living in florida. basically retirees that have moved to florida follow the same vein "i will never live in the cold again, florida is the bomb, yo."

ok, florida totally fucking sucks, here's why:

1. cockroaches, they live there, they never die, you can't kill them, you can spray to get rid of them, they are a fact of life. No thanks (my client said "you get used to them" no fucking thank you!)

2. Its a big state, it takes forever to drive over it (see disasterous, yeah we just got in to the state...oh crap its gonna take 8 hours to get from here to naples, crap...)

3. Its fucking hot, all the g'damn time. Heat is awful.

4. It's filled with OLD ass people. Who drive slow, cause traffic jams, and are all the average age of 80. When I hit 80 just shoot me. I never want to be those people. The traffic is like the loop on chicago, all day, every day, all the time.

5. The state is a cesspool of all that is evil. Go to see all the headlines with the florida tag: the grandma with cocaine in her bra? florida, City evicts sex offenders living under bridge because they couldn't find housing that wasn't 2500 feet away from schools: florida, losing kids in the foster system, florida, bad educational system: florida...the list goes on and on

6. disneyland. is-total-crap. and over priced and read a carl hiaasen and get the scoop.

7. Ricky Williams.

8. ONe of the most debtor friendly states "your mom called, she wants to enable you even more to be a drain on society."

9. trailer parks outnumber the cockroaches

10. hurricanes. you cant even get insured there.

man i hate florida.

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