Friday, October 23, 2009

i dont write much anymore

not that i dont want to write anymore, far from it...mostly i just blogpost in my head while i am trying to sleep...its not that i dont want to write here or letcha all read the drivel i spew, but it seems that my working 60 hr weeks has caught up with all this magical free time i used to seems adding an extra 20 hours out of the house means i have no time to do jack/squat.

i dont think i have had time to scrapbook anything since may.
i havent had time to clean anything in months.
my house looks wretched.

dale does a fantastic job of juggling all the cleaning and schlepping of kids, and errand (not erin) running-but all those things that i always did regularly i just dont have time to do anymore. I dont have time to clean the toilets every 2 weeks...i dont think the toilet has been cleaned in over a month, im not home enough to care (or at least i get home and just pee in the dark so i dont have to see it).

i am reasonably sure the tub has not been cleaned in 3 months. thank goodness the plug broke 6 months ago and has not yet been least no one is actually taking a bath, just showering off.

i am not sure what lives under my bed.

i have a pile of 15 books to read, i have never been so far behind. (aside: if you know me at all you know i can crack through a book a day, if i get through 1 a week, im lucky....).

my feet hurt cause i am wearing substandard shoes to work. while i recognize that i need better shoes and that the fact that i am wearing shit shoes means my feet hurt more/never get better...the Target cash is supposed to be the "gravy" cash, not buying 80.00 shoes cash. that somehow seems to be too selfish to me.

my punctuation and spelling in the post are abysmal. i think conanne the grammarian would kill me if she even could have read this far without pulling out her hair over the awful state of this post....once again, too tired to fix. (why am i still awake at midnight? i dont sleep very well anymore.)

i'm antsy and weird at work. seems like so many changes keep happening more quickly than i can process the 1st change. so i always feel off step and not on an even keel by any means. i cant find those sealegs quick enough.

i also find that malinda is repeating many of the (Not mistakes) behaviors her mother made at "that age" and knowing the outcome as i do, i am sad.

mya is repeating many of the (Not mistakes) behaviors that her father made at "that age", and see above....

owen needs to stop peeing his pants at night. i am sick of buying pull ups for a 5 yr old.

good stuff going on? at all?

yes, a bit.

dale had a phone interview (the 1st one in 6 months) and has a second phone interview on Monday. Outwardly I am really positive and peppy for his sake. Inside I am a nervous wreck wanting this to just work out so i can go back and resume my regular programming. Mostly I just feel happy and sick to my stomach all at the same time. when this works out (and i cant think of it any other way or i will get less sleep) i am throwing one hell of a party...there will be punch and pie...and wine.

what else?

my hair is clean, thats a plus.

i dont have the swine flu-bonus mouse.

i got to watch Glee on DVR...and rewind Puck singing "Sweet Caroline" about 5 times. yummers.

seriously though, i have to drag myself to bed (which means walking up the stairs, not tripping over the cat, and finding jammies in the dark) or Ill never get up at 7 tomorrow.

a quick list though:

things i would rather be doing:

*sitting on a beach on the isle of Santorini
*camping with ryan
*reading a book
*that thing i used to do before i was married with kids, i believe it was called stay up til 4am, buy fresh doughnuts at pick n save, eat them, go to sleep with dale until 1 or 2pm the next day-rinse and repeat.
*sleep, sleep, sleep.

night kiddos, better tomorrows await.